Almost done with radiation

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful." - John 15:1-2

I love this image that God paints through his words in John's Gospel. God intends for every part of our life to bear fruit. But, being human, there are times where parts of our life many not be bearing fruit. The challenges we face can certainly act to prune our branches and assist us with bearing fruit in all areas of our life if we allow them to do so. Many of you have been God's angels in guiding me to allow myself to be pruned and to continue bearing fruit through the challenges in my life. Thank you!

Today will be radiation session number 22 out of 25. Tuesday will be my last session! My skin in the area receiving radiation is definitely "angry." It is very red, itchy and just uncomfortable. I am applying wonderful essential oils, shea butter, aloe gel, and a prescription gel called Radiaplex that the radiologist prescribed. I just need to be applying it often and I tend to forget. I do feel tired, but it is manageable so I continue to work full time. Pete and the boys are great about allowing me to just collapse when I get home. I tend to be asleep by 8pm.

We are thankful for this end of the school year! Ricky had a wonderful 6th grade year both at Regina Caeli Academy and finishing up the year at Trickum Middle School. We are looking forward to the award ceremony at Trickum Middle tomorrow, when Ricky will receive an award. He has done very well academically and is enjoying the adventure. Paul completed 4th grades at Regina Caeli Academy and had a straight As year!!!!! He received the award for the virtue of Fortitude for the 5th year in a row. He is definitely strong in his faith and in all areas of his life!

Pete was blessed by a quick trip to California to celebrate Mother's Day with his mom and a big birthday with his childhood friend, Will. Pete's brother, Mark, blessed him with the gift of the trip which certainly lifted Pete's spirits. We ask that you please keep their mom and dad in your prayers as Pete's dad, Chief, continues to deal with a degenerative nerve disease that is limiting his mobility. We are thankful that Pete's brother, Mark, is living with them to provide assistance and support.

We are looking forward to a fun summer of being at our neighborhood pool with friends. No doubt the summer time at the pool will feel different for me as I won't be doing as much swimming, but I sure will enjoy the socializing and laughing with friends as well as watching the boys have fun in the pool. The Navy is sending Pete to a conference in Tampa later in June, so the boys and I will join him for a bit of a vacation. We are hoping to visit family and friends in the area while we are down there.

I continue to ask you to please pray for my friends who are also on this healing journey as their body heals from cancer. Unfortunately I have another friend to add to the list, Beth Mappes. She was just diagnosed with stage 0 breast cancer. Thankfully her healing journey should be swift and complete, but it is disturbing nonetheless. Please continue to pray for my classmate and friend, Eva McGarity Ponder and for my colleagues and friends: Mary Walker, Victoria Webbert, Chris Starr, Ryan Otwell, Laura Tammaro, Joann Mueller, Gisela Polanco, Nikki Mouton, and more that I am forgetting but who come into my mind and prayers often. I also ask that you pray for the family of Richard Ferris, a friend from church who just passed away a couple of weeks ago after dealing with cancer for a while.

May God grant each one of you good health and peace and may you recognize the beautiful opportunities to be pruned and support others as they are pruned.

Here are a few pictures of recent events.

 My youngest brother, Mike, graduated from parametic and firefighter school in Gwinnett County, the county we live in. We are so proud of him! In the picture below, Instructor Tim Lister, whom I was in grade school and high school with, was one of Mike's instructors and has become a mentor to Mike. What a small world! We are thankful to Tim for the way he challenged and guided Mike through the program.

The boys and I had fun donning red noses! We look for every opportunity to have a good time. I'm so grateful for their happiness and fun spirits!

Peter and I had the opportunity to travel to Jacksonville, FL for the annual Navy Dining In function as well as two days of training for Pete. It gave me time to relax in a different environment and have some alone time with Pete. It was a much needed break from the usual life. 

Radiation Begins

"Be still, and know that I am God." -Psalm 46:10

This past month has been one of "being still." Even though I was up and about quickly after surgery, I have had to be patient with my body as I continue to heal. I want to do everything I used to do, but realize that I need to give my body plenty of time to heal. So, once again, I am being taught how to be patient.

The other day while driving to a doctor's appointment, I was stuck behind a very slow driver. Ordinarily I would have changed lanes to pass. But this day I needed a small tangible victory in being patient, so I decided to just stay behind him. Ha ha. It did work. I felt victorious in practicing patience. : )

With each day I am given more and more blessings as I spend precious moments with Pete and the boys. I was blessed with a quick trip to Jacksonville, FL when Pete had to report for Navy training. I tagged along and was able to relax away from home and enjoy some yummy seafood meals. We also were able to attend a formal Navy dinner and get all dressed up. It was fun! The boys, meanwhile, were treated to a two day trip to Tybee Island by my parents. They had a great time being spoiled!

I am still on short term disability as the doctors would like for the one incision to heal before I go back to work. It is giving me quite a time. This the incision under my right breast which was reduced in size at the time that they removed the left breast to help me with balance. Please pray that the incision will fully heal quickly.

Yesterday I began the radiation treatment. The number of treatments in my plan was reduced to 25 from 30 since there was no cancer in my pathology report and I'll only be receiving the minimal dose. PRAISE GOD! The treatment is very easy. The whole thing just lasts 20 minutes and I don't feel a thing. I just have to be careful to take care of my skin in that area so that I don't develop a burn. The radiologist, Dr. Maxa, who is absolutely delightful and very compassionate, has warned me that I will likely just experience exhaustion after the second week of treatment. She explained that I will be most tired the last week of treatment and the week right after. The beautiful thing to me is that I will be all DONE with treatments just in time for the last day of school for the boys. YEAH!!!! I am looking forward to a fun summer with them.

We continue to be so very thankful for each of you and the support you have given us. We will continue to pray for each of you and our many friends who are also healing from cancer.

God bless you all!
With much love,
Cristina

Healing

"He has sent me...to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair." Isaiah 61:1-3

One week has passed since my surgery. We have all been surprised at how quickly I was up and about. I continue to get tired very easily but the healing process is definitely under way. I have had follow up appointments with both surgeons and both say I am healing beautifully.

We received GREAT news Thursday evening when my breast surgeon called to let us know that the pathology report shows that I am completely clear of cancer. They could not find any evidence of cancer in the breast tissue nor in the 9 lymph nodes she removed. We are amazed and so very grateful! What an amazing healing!!!!! We met with the surgeon yesterday and she explained that they are beginning to see this complete response more often with the new chemo therapy drugs they are using. However, we believe this was a miraculous healing. Let me explain.

Just one week before my surgery was to take place I was still not convinced that it was the right thing for me to do. I talked with several people including my doctors and asked them to convince me that I should have my left breast removed. The doctors' explanation for why the surgery should take place is that removing the breast and analyzing the tissue is the only way to prove that the cancer is gone. This is one area that I believe we need to make major advancement in.

So, I decided to go to my naturopath doctor for an additional thermascan in which, through an infrared scan, she can detect patches of heat which signify disease. She completed the breast scan and showed me how the left breast still showed evidence of cancer in two places. This piece of evidence helped me see that removing the left breast was probably the right thing to do to protect me from future recurrence of cancer.

Well, just a few days later our dear friend, Father Joseph, passed away after a long illness which began as Leukemia. We attended his wake the day before my surgery along with thousands of others.
I was praying for his intercession in providing me with healing grace, whether it be emotional or physical healing. After paying our respects to his body and praying for his soul, I asked Fr. Kevin, his brother, to pray a blessing over Peter and me. He did so right in front of Fr. Joseph's casket. As he prayed over us I held on to the scapular that Fr. Joseph had blessed for me to wear several months back. I asked Fr. Joseph to intercede for me.  So, when we found out Thursday evening, one week after that blessing, that I do not have cancer present, I really believed that Fr. Joseph had interceded and God had granted yet another miracle.

As we have called family and friends to let them know the good news the first question is always, will you still have to go through radiation? My breast surgeon says I will still need radiation. I am setting up an appointment with the radiology oncologist to discuss this further. Again, I am not convinced yet.

I'll be honest, my first reaction to the news was, "Great, so we removed my breast for no reason!" This had been my fear all along but also my hope, that they would remove the breast only to find out there was nothing to worry about. I did experience anger and great sadness. However, through the love of my husband and my parents they were able to fill me with hope and thankfulness. I needed to see the silver lining and they pointed it out to me. Now I am happy and can rejoice! Life will go on and I won't have to be worried about whether or not they got all of the cancer. Yes, I will be different physically, but the most important part is that I am different spiritually. I have allowed and will continue to allow God to mold me through this experience. I will continue to look to many of you for guidance toward God's will and support in following His will.

I thank you all for the prayers and that amazing support and love you have and are continuing to shower us with. Although painful at times, this has been an incredible experience to see how God showers us with love through each of you.

I ask that you continue to pray for several friends who are still healing from cancer: Eva, Jason, Victoria, Mary, Gisela, Ryan, Laura, just to name a few. I also pray for those who worry about cancer returning.

It is true that once you are diagnosed with cancer, life is never the same. But life can be better! It can be a good thing to be reminded of our mortality and our need to depend on God. It is good to be reminded that we need to treasure each day of life that God has blessed us with. And what better time to be reflecting on new life than through Easter time? I am so very grateful to be celebrating new life on this blessed Easter weekend when I get to see so many in my family and so many friends. I pray that you will each experience healing in your life this Easter. Ask God to show you where this healing is taking place. Be ready to experience the healing that God has planned for you!

Happy Easter to each of you!
With Much Love,
Cristina
"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever." - Psalm 107:1

Surgery Update

Thank you for the many prayers today. Praise God all went well. The surgery only took 2 hours! I was up in my room by 2pm.

It's amazing how tired I have been and groggy from the anesthesia and pain medications. I am resting in bed with Pete sitting next to me.

I'll post more tomorrow when I feel more like myself.

Love to all,
Cristina

Preparing

"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May you whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ." - 1 Thessalonians 5:23

Just two days until I go through surgery to have my left breast removed, to have the cancer removed that is living in that breast and in the lymph nodes under my left arm. At times it is difficult to find peace of mind and spirit when I think about how this surgery will change my body. A dear friend reminded me yesterday that even though my body will change, my spirit doesn't have to change. I confessed to her that this is what worries me. I worry that this extreme physical change will somehow alter my spirit. But, I know I am surrounded by family and friends who will remind me to focus on God and to rest in his arms knowing that He will keep me whole. I will always be whole in His eyes.

This week our dear friend, Fr. Joseph Peek, passed away after a very long time of suffering physically. I have been moved to tears several times over the past years watching him suffer but still strive to live life to the fullest. Even in his quiet suffering he was impacting many lives and saving many souls. I thank God for his example. His sister, my sister-in-love, Christina, reminded me last week even through his physical weakness and "deformity" he still loved and was loved. He lived many years with open sores on his body and in much pain. He was sure to use it all for a higher purpose, God's purpose!

And so I am determined to use my experience for God's purpose. There is a reason I am going through this. I pray that my experience will bring others closer to God and that my suffering can be used to save souls.

Last week my dear friend, Sonia, arranged for a Mass to be celebrated by Fr. Michael Silloway in the chapel of St. Pius X Catholic High School, my alma mater, for myself and my friend and classmate, Eva McGarity Ponder. Several of our classmates and family joined us for a rosary and mass as we prayed for strength and healing. It truly was a vision of heaven to be surrounded by so many who love us and pray for us. I am so very grateful for our St. Pius community.

So, now, the practical news. I will be having surgery on Friday at 8am. The surgery should last about 4 hours. Please keep me and the surgeons in your prayers. I will actually have 3 surgeons working on me at one time. One will remove the diseased breast while the other two, who are plastic surgeons, will reduce and lift the right breast to help me with balance. (This is one of the silver linings.) I will hopefully be in the hospital just one night, but there is a possibility of staying 2 nights. Then I will recover and heal for 4 weeks. (This sounds funny to put a quantifiable number of weeks on my healing. I get the feeling my overall healing will take much longer than 4 weeks.) I actually hope to return to work in 4 weeks.

After I get cleared, I will begin radiation treatments to that left breast and armpit area. That will go on for 6 weeks, 5 days a week. I am hoping to be able to work through those treatments. We will see what God has planned.

In order to feel peace there is a need to rest. I am seeing that more and more. These next two days will be ones to reflect and rest. These next few weeks will be ones to reflect and rest as I heal. Be sure to send me your prayer requests so that may offer up any suffering for you.

Pete will keep the blog updated on Friday so that you all know how things are going.

Thank you for the continued support and prayers! I am so very blessed by each one of you. Remember to pray for Pete and the boys and my parents and siblings and close friends. This journey is hard on all of them. But, in the end, we will all be closer to God because of this journey and your prayers.

Please lift my friend and Pius classmate, Eva McGarity Ponder, in prayer as she heals from metastatic breast cancer.

Much love to all of you!
Cristina

"We count as blessed those who have persevered." - James 5:11

Peace

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." Colossians 3:15

Peace is exactly what I am feeling today! It's funny how feeling healthy can lead to a feeling of peace. It is great to be eating normally again, even if the food doesn't quite taste the same yet. It is great to feel my stamina increasing and seeing that my skin is back to normal and that my hair is growing. My finger nails still look and feel funny but thanks to my Valentine I am going with mom today to get a manicure and pedicure. That should help!

I find it interesting that I equate peace with feeling physically well. I am realizing that it is easier to feel happy when I feel well. The only other time in my life that I felt as much despair as I did while going through chemo therapy is when I was in the midst of dealing with years of infertility. I remember days of hopelessness and sadness as I tried to come to grips with God's plan for our future family. My desire to have a baby was so strong and I felt it was deeply tied to what I felt God's plan was for me, to be a mother. How blessed we were when, after 10 years of marriage, God revealed that we were to adopt our first baby. How blessed we are to have Ricky as our son! Then two years later, after 40 days of paying very close attention to my physical health and following God's plan for eating, we were able to conceive a baby, Paul. How blessed we are to have Paul as our son! So, the past 10 years have been full of much peace as I realized that this was God's plan for us, to have two sons. I still longed for more children but truly felt that God was telling me that this was his plan for us. God has given me many nephews and nieces whom I love as my own and that I can shower with love. They are also part of God's plan for me and the love that I am to share as part of the ONE BODY of Christ. And I am so THANKFUL for each one of them!

So, today I find myself feeling peaceful again. I am feeling more like my usual self before the cancer was diagnosed. I am full of hope in light of the upcoming surgery and radiation. I know I will have some tough days of healing ahead, but I am ready! The only way I can feel so peaceful and ready to heal is that I am surrounded by the BODY OF CHRIST- ALL OF YOU! Your positive messages and inspiration lift me up on days I am down. You fill me with the love of Christ because you are His hands and his heart! Everyone, from the friends I have at Publix who greet me with a smile and a hug, to my friends at work who support me and hold me up as I work through the illness and healing process, to my family who never leaves my side, and my church family and RCA family who continue to support us, and countless friends from the schools I have attended and from other walks of our life who check in on us and support us...... I could go on and on. Every message I receive and every act of love that is shown to us is another way that God is reaching out to me to remind me to just be held and to feel His peace and rest.

Any time I feel pain or despair I continue to offer it up for those of you who are suffering either physically or emotionally. There are so many of you suffering through your own challenges. Know that you are in my prayers. May you also experience the peace that surpasses all understanding which only comes from Christ Jesus. May we, the Body of Christ, extend the love of Christ to you so that you may tangibly feel His love and peace.

I was given the beautiful opportunity to attend a morning of reflection for mothers of students at St. Pius X Catholic High School  and/or mothers of alumni and alumni yesterday as I was invited by my dear friends Sonia and Debra. It was a beautiful morning of fellowship with moms and grandmothers and a time to pray and reflect. We were reminded that in our lives there are seasons. We were asked to look at the list of seasons as listed in Ecclesiastes 3:1-22. As the speaker read through the long list of seasons she came to the one in verse 3, "a time to kill, and a time to heal." She said, "You aren't allowed to choose that one." And in my true spirit I thought to myself, "why not?" And sure enough, I found that is the season I find myself in right now. I never thought before that I would be in a season of "killing" but that is what I just went through as I put my body through chemo therapy to kill off the cancer. Now, I can move on to a time of healing when I will, with the help of God, build my body back up and strive to stay healthy. In verse 11 it says, "He has made everything beautiful in its time." God wants us to find hope and beauty in every season of our life, even when it is a "bad" season. Every season has a purpose. Our work is to identify that purpose and to share the lessons with others since we are ONE BODY. Our lessons can support others and lead them to their own lessons and peace.

Once again, I thank God for each soul that has accompanied me on this journey. Thank you for sharing your lessons and your peace with me. Thank you for praying for Pete, Ricky and Paul as they endure this journey by my side. Please also pray for my parents, Evelio and Rosie and for Pete's parents, Tim and Valerie, as well as my siblings and their spouses(Elena and Steve, Gene and Lora, Mike and Christina), as they endure this journey with us. Because I share such intimate details with them I think they are bearing a big burden as well. Please pray for their strength and peace.

Much love to all of you! God bless you!
Cristina
"To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory." Colossians 1:27

Plans

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I have to be reminded of this often, the fact that the Lord has a plan and it is always a GOOD plan. In fact, it is ALWAYS the PERFECT plan, because it is HIS plan.

On our way to Gwinnett Medical Friday morning to have my port replaced, a song came on the radio, 104.7, the Fish, that truly comforted me and reminded me that all I need to do is rest and "BE HELD." The song is titled, Just Be Held, by Casting Crowns. Here is a link to the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIZitK6_IMQ
I encourage you to listen to it. The line that comforted me greatly is "your life is not falling apart, it's falling into place. I am on the throne, stop holding on and just be held." I took some deep breaths and pictured the Lord holding me and carrying me through. I have to be reminded that this life is not for me to "figure out." My life belongs to God and He is the one with the plan. I need to trust Him and know that all things happen for a reason.

I KNOW that God has surrounded me with the people He is using to guide me, support me, and encourage me and my family. It is so beautiful to see how at each turn on this journey God provides friends and family who are available at the exact time we need them, even if just to pray where you are. We truly appreciate all of the prayers and many other forms of support you have all provided.

So, the port replacement procedure went very well. I am so grateful for the amazing medical team at Gwinnett Medical. On Wed. they found that I had a crack in my port line, when they conducted a port study with dye. That is considered a dangerous condition because the catheter line can break off and end up in my blood and they would have to get to it and extract it. So, they scheduled me for the next morning to have the port replaced. This time they routed the catheter through my jugular vein instead of going straight across like the last one. Apparently the line was rubbing up against my clavicle bone which is what has been causing the pain in my right shoulder that I have been feeling for the past month. This placement of going through the jugular has a higher success rate.

The procedure was outpatient, so I am home and doing well. Thank God for my "guys" and my parents who take such amazing care of me! Thank God for the army of people who are praying for us!

Speaking of plans, we do have a date for my breast surgery. I will be having the left breast removed on March 18th at East Side Medical in Snellville. At that time they will insert an expander as a "place holder" to keep my skin ready for the reconstruction that will occur after radiation. So, for those who like to know details, I will need 4 to 6 weeks to recover from this surgery. I will not be able to drive or do much of anything. I will have plenty of time to pray for all of you and am actually very grateful that the surgery is happening the Friday before Holy Week so that I can join my suffering with Christ on the Cross in a very tangible way!  Also, Pete and the boys will be on Spring Break for two weeks after my surgery so I will be well taken care of.

After recovering from surgery, I will begin 6 weeks of radiation which I will receive 5 times a week, Monday through Friday. Each appointment should only take 20-30 minutes except for Mondays when I meet with the physician, which will take an hour. Once radiation treatments are done, then I will go back for the reconstruction surgery in which Dr. Wang, my plastic surgeon, will take fat from my belly to construct the left breast. She will also take care to "mold" the right breast to match the left. They are being so careful to be sure that I feel comfortable about what will happen and with how I will look and feel afterward. I really appreciate that!

That is our "human" plan for now. In the end, I will work each day to trust God and HIS ultimate plan. I ask that you continue to pray for Pete as he juggles many "glass balls" in our lives right now. Pray for the boys as they continue to make sense of all that is happening. Thankfully the boys are very happy and have a great sense of humor. I just pray that their positive attitude continues.

I also ask that you add two friends to your prayers. Our friend Ryan was recently diagnosed with cancer. Please pray for him and his wife, Rachel as they search for the right medical plan for him. Also, please pray for baby Marisa and her parents Jamie and Michelle. Baby Marisa is in the NICU at two weeks old and is fighting for her life as she deals with lung and heart complications. We are praying for a miracle.
Thank you for your constant prayers!
Much love,
Cristina